If you follow me on other social media, you may be aware that I’m participating in Camp NaNoWriMo this month, with the aim to produce roughly 40,000 words of poetry and memoir.
I started out planning to just put together a volume of poetry and essays, but one of the essays spiralled and expanded, and now I appear to be writing a memoir, which is a big departure from my previous writing. I’ve done some research and talked to other writers, and I have sort of mapped my course, based on their advice: I’m going to write down everything I remember—the piece will cover my feelings about my father from two years before he died to about a decade later.
A lot of this is stuff I’ve probably needed to write about for a long time. I’ve been trying to sit in my feelings when they come up, all the nostalgia and tears, and allow myself to feel them and remember. I don’t like crying (as a result of how much I did for years after he passed), so this has been a challenge, but it’s one worth taking on, if only for the potential closure.
Once I’ve gotten all my thoughts and recollections out, I’m going to read through all of my poetry and journal entries from that time, and then I’m going to interview my mother, other family members, and family friends who were adults when I was a child to see where my account differs from theirs, and either confirm or disprove some of my thoughts. Again, these are conversation I’ve probably been needing to have for a long time, and I’m making the opportunity to do it now.
Hopefully, I’ll come out of the month with at least 40,000 words written, and the beginnings of a publishable piece on childhood grief and its effects on adulthood, as experienced by me. If you’re interested in daily word count updates, you can follow those on my Twitter, and I’ll be sharing some resources and interesting info on my Tumblr. Comment if you’re participating—I’d love to hear what others are working on!
Tessara Dudley, Poet-Publisher-Educator-Activist 
Strange, is it not, how often the ‘pen’ can lead the hand – and how often it is set upon a holiday when all you envisaged was a day out! Currently I am working on a seventh novel – well, have worked, actually – which won’t cooperate with the editing process. I believe I may discard it, in the end; somehow the characters no longer live for me and since it is not intended as a murder mystery I must have missed the train, somehow. Don’t know where. One of those things.
Anyway, although this might not be the place for it, thank you for coming to my humble blog and following me there. I know I shall enjoy reciprocating.
Hello!
It is a funny thing when you think you’re writing something, and it is not at all what you meant. Sometimes it’s not the right time, and sometimes it needs another’s eye to find what’s going wrong, and sometimes it’s just not meant to be.
I followed you from the CWAtC GoodReads thread–I look forward to reading your posts, and thank you for following back!